By JIMMY LOWE
Glasgow Daily Times
GLASGOW —
As a result of a hinge on a door becoming loose last week, I learned what a buggy hame is. Before that I couldn’t tell a buggy hame from an old Packard hubcap.
I needed a screwdriver larger than the only one I owned to do the job and fix the hinge. So, I did what many do when they need a tool they don’t have — I went next door. My next door neighbors have a habit of loaning me things. They are the ones who loaned me their daughter for a lifetime.
My father-in-law took me down into his basement, and we embarked on a scavenger hunt to turn up the necessary screwdriver. He has been collecting items that clutter his basement for many years, so it took quite a while to locate the screwdriver.
First we discovered a couple of wood planes. He told me that they were once used to cut grooves in lumber. They date back to the 1880s and cost him $25 at a flea market.
“Nice,” I commented as he showed me a fodder tie. It was missing a string, but it didn’t really matter since he didn’t have any fodder, anyway. “Really nice, but do you know where a screwdriver is?”
“Look at this old hand corn sheller,” he said as he held up a curious rusty piece. “It still works!”
“Will it work on my door?”
“And this thing here,” he said, pointing to something-or-the-other, “is a buggy spoke trimmer. It’s the only one I’ve ever seen.”
He showed me several other items, talking fondly about each one. This led me to ask, “Why are you so fascinated by these old tools?”
“They are something that once was, but will never be again,” he replied.
Then he held up two more goodies. “Guess what these are?”
“Well, I don’t know,” I said, “but they aren’t screwdrivers.”
“They’re turkey scales.”
He doesn’t have a single turkey, so why does he have not one, but two, turkey scales?
He said it was so he could weigh two turkeys at once, or weigh one turkey on one and check the accuracy of that scale against the other.
Then he demonstrated how his corn cracker made chicken feed. It was good to know he had one of those, but I didn’t expect I’d ever need to borrow it.
He showed me a set of pea scales, a blacksmith vise, a broad axe, and an assortment of other oddities. No screwdriver. He showed me a food chopper that would grind sausage and other meats.
Finally, somewhere between the Packard hubcap and the buggy hame, we found a screwdriver. But it had a broken tip.
I might as well go to the hardware store next time.
(The columnist took the week off and submitted this column, which was originally published in this newspaper during the 1980s. He will return next Thursday with a new article.)
