Glasgow Daily Times, Glasgow, KY

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November 12, 2009

Polite language goes a long way

By JIMMY LOWE

GLASGOW — When it comes to reminding youngsters about polite manners, moms come in handy. Occasionally, though, it takes something else. Once for me, it took a rock.

Now, this is what got me meditating on manners today: We were at a restaurant with Daughter Number One and her family. The grandkids had finished eating when the little boy asked, “Granddaddy, can I have a quarter?” His mom corrected him, “Is that how you are supposed to ask?” The grandson rephrased the request, “Can I PLEASE have a quarter?” Since there were three youngsters, I fumbled in my pocket for 75 cents and then they trotted off to a gumball machine. A collective “Thank you” only came after being prompted once again.

Before I began composing these words on this computer, I was using it to print photos. By mistake, I had placed the photo paper upside down in the printer’s tray. A notice popped up on the monitor, “Please remove the paper from the tray.” I was instructed, most politely, how to correctly place the paper.

Whether it comes from grandchildren or computers, I appreciate polite language.

Likely I will forever remember one particular student from the first class of the first day that I ever entered the classroom as a teacher. As I walked up and down the rows, passing out forms for students to complete that day, only one student offered a “Thank you.” Almost four decades later, that’s the only scene from that day’s experiences that has not become erased from my memory. I remember that student’s name, where that student was sitting in the classroom and most of all, I remember how I appreciated that seemingly insignificant, yet most welcome response.

Polite language allows us to cast away arrogance and humble ourselves, creating a respectful attitude that promotes goodwill from one to another. Polite communication is one example of good manners that not only benefits the receiver, but the sender, as well.

Even though I try to respond politely and respectfully to those I come in contact with, sometimes I fall short. I am, after all, a flawed individual.

For a time when I was young, I fell short with a fellow who had offended me. I still had to interact with him, yet I found it difficult to remain in good humor while in his presence. I was awkward when it was necessary to speak with him, and I stuffed my hands into my pockets and avoided looking into his eyes.

One day I was inspired to turn that relationship around. I decided to forgive him even though he had not apologized. I began to carry a rock in my pocket for a while. When I was around him and my hand went into that pocket, I was reminded by the rock to act differently. The hands came out of the pockets, my eyes met his and I was polite and smiled as we talked. Soon I found I didn’t need the rock as a reminder. I can’t be sure if he ever changed, but I know I did.

So, whether it’s being coached by a mom or being reminded by a rock, we can become conditioned toward a positive attitude. It’s so simple, even a kid can learn. Soon it becomes a habit. And it’s a habit worth developing.

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