UK needs realism, not optimism

By JON WEBB

GLASGOW — The nation’s college basketball coaches apparently value the ability to defecate dairy.

The USA Today/ESPN Preseason Coaches Poll was released early this week, and gave Kentucky fans another reason to prematurely smile.

The Wildcats ranked fifth in the poll just behind defending-champ North Carolina and just ahead of last-year-Final-Four participant Villanova.

Citing a recruiting class featuring John Wall and DeMarcus Cousins and the return of forward Patrick Patterson, USA Today’s Jack Carey said, optimistically: “There should be no NIT talk around the Bluegrass State this season.”

That blanket optimism, though, may not be shared by new coach John Calipari.

During a recent book signing in Cave City, Calipari did his best to quell any thoughts of a year-one NCAA championship.

“We’ve got this huge mountain to climb, and we’re in base camp,” he said.

And as far as his first year players:

“(They) think they poop ice cream.”

Calipari, I hope, is joking about his players belief that they can push delicious frozen confections through their bowels.

But he isn’t joking about base camp.

After a 22-14 season and two years under Billy Gillispie, the Wildcats are far from the fifth-best team in the nation.

Their best player will arguably be Wall.

The freshman will fit perfectly into Calipari’s motion offense (an offense that requires a talented point guard), and his scouting report is basically plagiarized from Derrick Rose’s: he’s “blazingly fast,” possesses unique ballhandling ability, finishes at the rim and can’t shoot from the outside.

This doesn’t mean he is Derrick Rose.

Wall’s only competition thus far has been high school students, and there’s no proof (an intra squad scrimmage isn’t exactly profound evidence) Wall has the ability to play under control against top competitors.

Sure, he’ll do fine against your Campbellsvilles, your Clarions and your, to be depressingly honest, Indianas.

But how will he fare at the beginning of December, when he faces both North Carolina and Connecticut (ranked 14th) within a span of four days? Will he be able to outperform Edgar Sosa at Louisville or withstand the sweat-shine glimmering from Bruce Pearl’s orange sport jacket at Tennessee?

Even if Wall excels, the team around him doesn’t come with a guarantee.

Outside of the equally-question-mark fellow freshmen, the remaining team is the same squad that yawned its way through last season and barely made any sort of any impact in the NIT: the tournament known worldwide as March Madness’ introverted, ugly sister.

But, of course, the nation’s coaches are never wrong.

Just like when they ranked Notre Dame at number nine last season and proceeded to watch as the Fightin’ Irish went 21-15 and missed the tournament.

Or when they inexplicably placed Georgetown at number 21 this year, even though the Hoyas went 16-15 last season and return essentially the same team.

Or, or, when they ranked Michigan State — the 2008 national runner up that brings back last year’s Big Ten player of the year Kalin Lucas — at number two behind Kansas.

Or (and this the best example, which is why I’m listing it last in this exhausting parade of points), when they slotted 2008 12-19 Georgia Tech in at number 20 largely due to the arrival of freshman forward Derrick Favors.

Granted, none of those examples will have anything to do with the fortunes of the 2009 Wildcats.

But if Kentucky’s own coach is being realistic about his team’s chances, maybe the rest of the nation’s coaches should be too.

After all, pooping ice cream will get you many things in life: a spot on David Letterman or even a nice sales deal with QVC.

It won’t, as far as I know, get you a national championship.

Jon Webb is the sports editor for the Glasgow Daily Times. He can be reached at jwebb (at) glasgowdailytimes.com