The math of Monroe

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November 28, 2009

By JON WEBB The Glasgow Daily Times Sat Nov 28, 2009, 02:44 PM CST

GLASGOW — If we football fans love anything, it’s math.

And if there’s anything we love more than math, it’s deductive reasoning.

So, in the wake of one of Monroe County football’s most successful seasons in the history of the school, let’s embrace both loves to point out how remarkable the achievements of this year’s Falcons squad actually are.

According to Wikipedia (which is never wrong. My page lists me all-too-accurately as a 63 year-old Japanese fighter pilot), the last census put Monroe County’s total population as 11,756. Twenty-three percent of those people are under the age of 18, which, for the sake of slightly inaccurate math, is roughly the age of all members of Monroe’s football team.

The Falcons have 75 players on their roster. To achieve this comparatively large number of players, one in every 36 babies born within or transported into the county limits must possess the capacity to play football.

It may seem easy to round up one football player out of 36. It’s not, and here’s an experiment to prove it.

Go Christmas shopping at a mall on Dec. 24. Walk along outside the store fronts, and count the number of persons cashed out on the wooden benches. Add them to the number of people who have bailed on buying gifts for their loved ones and are instead milling around Auntie Anne’s Pretzels. And add them to the number of shoppers inside Hot Topic.

I’ve given you a sizable sampling of humanity. Now find me a starting lineup.

Moving on.

The Falcons’ total record over the last two years is 22-6, giving them a 79 percent winning percentage. That mark is better than the last four Super Bowl champions and is just a shade lower than the Los Angeles Lakers’ winning clip during their championship run last summer.

Speaking of winning percentages:

Monroe lost to four schools this season — Franklin-Simpson, Green County, Allen-County Scottsville and Fort Campbell. Those four teams combined for a 43-8 record, giving them an 84 percent winning percentage.

If you factor in the Falcons’ 2008 losses, Monroe has lost to teams with a combined 64-14 standing and an 82 percent win percentage. The only team to whom Monroe has lost that finished with more than four losses in a season in the last two years was Greenwood: a 6A school with nearly three-times the enrollment of MCHS.

And now, for the deductive reasoning.

Let us consider Fort Campbell.

Before Friday’s game, Campbell had outscored its 2009 opponents, on average, by 43 points a game.

Factored into that number is Campbell’s Sept. 25 merciless prison beating of Warren Central.

Campbell defeated Central 49-7.

Central defeated Barren County 54-0.

Monroe County defeated Barren 34-14.

Therefore, Campbell should have beaten Monroe by 76 points.

But it didn’t happen. If it weren’t for a few costly turnovers and a slow defensive start, the Falcons could be holed up at Darrell Carter Stadium right now to prepare for DeSales.

A team from Tompkinsville compiled enough top-notch players to nearly topple a squad ridden, thanks to its military, um, base, with talented athletes originating from all parts of the country.

If that were to happen, imagine the math required to explain it.

Jon Webb is the sports editor for the Glasgow Daily Times. He can be reached at jwebb (at) glasgowdailytimes.com.

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